this is big sister "sleeping" out the front of our house. last night, she snuck out the front door just before bed-time and refused to come back inside. when husband asked her if she'd like to sleep outside, she gleefully said, "yes!" and lay down on the ground, promptly beginning her thumb-sucking, hair-twirling bed-time ritual. (perhaps we should take this girl camping?) after some coersion, husband convinced big sister to come back inside, but these battles of the will are becoming more common of late as she embraces life as a two-year-old.
i've begun reading a couple of books, to help me/us think through our approach to managing challenging behaviour from our kids (as we face the inevitable reality that stubborn mules of parents such as ourselves will have stubborn progeny.) i think my current approach is to be super-patient and "understanding" and hope that big sister eventually decides to do what i want her to, but when that doesn't work i just end up angry and using physical force (not smacking, just picking her up and taking her where she needs to go) to make her do what i want her to. turns out her stubbornness can outlast mine (grrr...) this volcano approach is not really working for me, but since big sister is on the whole not a difficult kid, it has sufficed til now.
first i began reading gary chapman and ross campbell's book, 5 love languages of children, but it made me feel kind of, well, crap. so i've put it aside for later. (isn't that a good approach to anything in life that makes you feel bad?!) i'm thinking now that the reason it made me feel bad was that it kind of describes what i've already been doing (trying to "love" my girl into doing what i want her to through vast amounts of patience and tolerance) and what isn't helping me to get her to let me buckle her into her car seat or the pram without feeling like a psych nurse restraining a patient.
so now i'm reading the new dare to discipline by james dobson, which is all about addressing said battle of the wills. i'm feeling much more confident already, and this is helping me to take effective action much earlier (before i begin to unravel in an angry mess) when big sister tries to take me on. there is some discussion of the use of smacking (as the biggest discipline gun of them all, never to be used when you're angry), and i'm still not sure what i think about that. mostly opposed, i think.
i've begun reading a couple of books, to help me/us think through our approach to managing challenging behaviour from our kids (as we face the inevitable reality that stubborn mules of parents such as ourselves will have stubborn progeny.) i think my current approach is to be super-patient and "understanding" and hope that big sister eventually decides to do what i want her to, but when that doesn't work i just end up angry and using physical force (not smacking, just picking her up and taking her where she needs to go) to make her do what i want her to. turns out her stubbornness can outlast mine (grrr...) this volcano approach is not really working for me, but since big sister is on the whole not a difficult kid, it has sufficed til now.
first i began reading gary chapman and ross campbell's book, 5 love languages of children, but it made me feel kind of, well, crap. so i've put it aside for later. (isn't that a good approach to anything in life that makes you feel bad?!) i'm thinking now that the reason it made me feel bad was that it kind of describes what i've already been doing (trying to "love" my girl into doing what i want her to through vast amounts of patience and tolerance) and what isn't helping me to get her to let me buckle her into her car seat or the pram without feeling like a psych nurse restraining a patient.
so now i'm reading the new dare to discipline by james dobson, which is all about addressing said battle of the wills. i'm feeling much more confident already, and this is helping me to take effective action much earlier (before i begin to unravel in an angry mess) when big sister tries to take me on. there is some discussion of the use of smacking (as the biggest discipline gun of them all, never to be used when you're angry), and i'm still not sure what i think about that. mostly opposed, i think.
anyway, would love to hear any recommendations on good child-wrangling books!
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